Death in the Family

The first death I remember is that of my grandfather. He had a fall and was bedridden for months (or was it weeks?) He developed bedsores and was in great pain. He'd groan and scold his children at times. One early morning aunt R went to his room and found he was gone. By the time I woke up-perhaps I woke to the commotion- it was confirmed. Mother sat in one corner and wept silently. I was too young to connect to her sorrow, but I wailed out loud too.

Somebody from the neighboring house offered to take me there for breakfast, as people in the family wouldn't cook for the day. I refused. To me at that time the neighbor's house felt like it was across a continent. It was as if I was being taken away never to return to my home.

Grandfather lay there covered in white dhoti. His face was left uncovered for some time and all paid their respects. Later the men who assembled covered his face, tied his body to bamboo poles as was the custom and took him away for cremation. I was in great fear and avoided most of the sights.

The Dancer Girl

Was it Children's Day? There was this parade where my father was the chief guest and afterwards all went to the hall for the performances. First came the fairy girls to invoke the gods and goddesses, all clad in white and carrying tiny lamps. After the dance they came down the stage and sat next to me.

My rival looked beautiful in her white gown..faint fragrance of flowers enveloped us. Tiny droplets of water shone on her painted face like dewdrops . I wanted to touch them but she haughtily turned away.

The memory of those water drops on the painted face and the faint fragrance..that was the beginning of my fascination for dance.

Epiphany on a Rainy Morning

I woke to a rainy morning and found father cleaning the kerosene lanterns in the backyard. He looked up and smiled at me. I knew I was smiling in answer too. In that smile there was a oneness that went beyond innocence and wisdom. All of the cloud covered skies and the green smiled too.